Sunday, November 14, 2010

Babies are scary

So I was doing some Facebook stalking earlier today, and discovered that there are approximately 731 girls from my grade in high school that have had or are about to have babies. And that's a real number. I counted them all up.

Ok, so it's not a real number. There aren't even 731 people in my entire high school, so obviously I made that number up. I'm too lazy to actually count all of them, but needless to say it's a lot of people. Like... 7 or something like that. Which is a lot, considering my graduating class was a little over a hundred people.

And I just don't get it. I mean, I have absolutely no problem with babies, in fact I find them absolutely adorable. I also say all power to these girls- by all accounts they are wonderful, caring, loving mothers. Their kids are all super-duper adorable, everyone seems very happy with the arrangement.


I cannot imagine having a baby at my age (actually, pretty much ever. Do you know where you have to push that thing through? Yikes.) The very thought petrifies me.
pictured: absolutely terrifying.
Being responsible for another life like that is just such a huge commitment, for the rest of eternity. I can barely handle my own life, let alone make earth-shaking decisions for another tiny sentient being, like which cute, tiny hat to put on it's cute, tiny head, or whether I should name it Optimus Prime or Captain Awesome.
Captain Awesome! ...d'awww, nevermind, I forgot.
There are just so many opportunities for me to fuck up my own life, I would be so scared I would also irreparably damage this other person's life. Especially since I'm a college student, with my own ill-formed plans of what I want to do with my life. (hint: those plans do not include tiny people any time soon. Unless they are midgets.) I want to travel, I want to see the world! And it would be so much harder to do that with a baby.

Plus, I can barely afford to live in a tiny apartment with two roommates and also feed myself, so unless babies can subsist purely on Ramens, we'd both be shit out of luck.
I can haz ramen?
I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say here is I won't be making my parents grandparents any time soon, for which I'm guessing they are quite grateful. (I'm going to do my best to make sure any kids I ever have call my parents "Mee-maw" and "Pee-paw". Because it'd be hilarious.)
To all you teenage moms out there: you are incredibly brave. Can I babysit sometime?

And kids someday? Sure, maybe so.

Or maybe I'll just have shitload of cats.
challenge accepted!

1 comment:

  1. make me laugh out loud. I love it because I can just hear you saying this. Awesome.