Not an Ax-Murderer

So I’ve introduced you to one of my roommates already, in the form of a sneaky spy picture I took of him in his parka in our living room.

why yes, I have read this book several times. however did you know?

We had another roommate, a friend of ours from last school year, and one of my roommates from dorm-living. However, in the middle of last month, she decided that she would rather go to school down in Centralia, and live with her boyfriend.

Which, needless to say, left my other roommate and me in a bit of a bind. It’s not like the two of us can afford the entire rent by ourselves, so we really needed a third person.

Unfortunately, it can be pretty hard to find a new person to move in, especially on such short notice. At first we just sort of poked around within our circles of friends, hoping to find someone who would magically need a new place to stay.

"Jeff, we are so excited you could move in so quickly! It's just fantastic! More apple juice for your tiny cup?"

When that didn’t pan out, I posted an ad on Craigslist. Which is always a little nerve-wracking, because there are some crazies on Craigslist. Like that lady and her overalls.

We were really hoping we weren’t going to get some creepy ax-murderer showing up at our doorstep with his collection of torture-porn under one arm and his rat tails shadowbox under the other.

"I's be Cleetus. This here's mah ax, Tito. Ah heer yur lookin' fur a roommate."

But then, when the first Craigslist ad didn’t work either, I posted another one, which probably sounded even more desperate than the first. Unlucky for us, Cleetus the ax-murderer had already found a place by then, and we were kinda freaking out. We literally would not be able to afford the rent by ourselves.

Then, as a last resort, I posted an ad on our college online housing board. And, wonder of wonders, within like two days, we found someone!

Anyway, now that the new guy has moved in, it’s been pretty interesting getting to know someone who you now live with. Better than living in the dorms, I suppose, when I shared a space the size of a breadbox with two people I’d never met . But still. It’s been a little weird.

almost as weird as when this guy introduces his new girlfriend to his parents

He just moved in on Sunday, and he seems like a really cool guy. He and my other roommate share a love of Call of Duty: Black Ops, which has been an excellent bonding tool for them. Another bonding experience for them was making fun of me while I play Black Ops, so that was nice as well.

things pop out at me. and then I shriek and cuss and spray bullets everywhere, and then I die.

I’ve been doing a lot of that awkward head bob thing you do when your conversation grinds to a halt, but neither of you is willing to walk away. In our case, it’s perhaps even more awkward, because we’re both sitting in the living room. I usually make some vague, all-encompassing hand gesture, say something non-commital like “Uhm-hmm. Well that’s what that is, ya know?” And then I put on my headphones and watch another episode of Miami Ink.

seriously, this shit is addictive. I love you, instant-streaming Netflix

But so far, he doesn’t appear to be an ax-murderer.