Thursday, November 17, 2011

My House is Cold as Shit

If you noticed the title of this post, you might assume that this entry will be me whining about how cold my house is.

Seeing as how we've already been there, because I whined about how cold my apartment was last year, I won't do that to y'all agian. That would just be cruel and unusual punishment.

Or probably just cruel punishment. Not really all that unusual.

Instead, I'm going to tell you what I want for Christmas!
Because Christmas is awesome, basically. And also because I don't want to study, I don't want to!

It's Dead Week here at WWU, and that means everybody wants to die. It also means I get to go home in like 8 days, which is super exciting, but also means that finals are next week, which makes me want to die.

I hate finals. Actually, I hate tests in general. Yuck.

So, in the spirit of procrastination and Christmas, I present you with my letter to Santa.

Dear Santa,

I know you're a pretty busy guy, and I realize this letter is probably even a little late. Sorry about that. Normally I'm way more prompt with this kind of thing, but I've been a little stressed lately. You see, I've got papers due, and bills to pay, and I had to spend forever and a day in the municipal court trying to pay my speeding ticket, and finals are coming up, and I don't know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life and I think I'm out of clean socks...


So, here's what I want for Christmas.

1. World Peace

That's it.


Just kidding. I mean, that'd be nice. But last time I checked, they didn't make that in Santa's workshop. Er. Your workshop.


1. A gift card to Target. Because Target is the shit. I buy pretty much all my clothes there, and also I can get groceries there. Also, I really like the boots they have. I love boots.

2. Boots.

3. Doc Martens. With flowers. Like this.
because we hipsters have claimed doc martens for ourselves. which the goths are pissy about.

4. Clothes. Because I am poor, and buy food instead.

5. Books.

6. Kindle books.

7. A trip to Europe. For 8 months or so.

8. A plane ticket to South Carolina, to see my sister.

Or if you wanted to save some of this for my birthday, that'd be cool too. It's only 4 days after Christmas, you know.


Well, my lovely imaginary friends, that's it until finals are over. I promise to write over break, though!


  1. Dang. Guess I gotta return the pony and unicorn.

    Just sayin'.

  2. I want boots for Christmas too!!! But I already know I'm getting them because I bought them and gave them to my mother to wrap and put under the tree... At least I know they're sufficiently dykey, I guess.